18 Sep Rebuke-Tshuvah; Before you say something you might regret later…
We ought not ever tell someone that they are’ too sensitive’ or ‘too anything’. To do so may be to cause feelings of being discounted or feelings of of oppression to another person. It’s a form of abuse.
The purpose of correcting someone is to help them be better and make for better relationships. If done at all, it must be done with the greatest of care.
If you want to help someone be a better person you must ‘bring them close’… get to know them. We must learn to deal with each other with loving kindness and compassion.
We need to keep in mind that we can’t expect someone to change just because ‘we’ think they should. To make change, firstly someone has to have some desire to change. Then the process of peeling back the layers (klipot) of impurity can begin . This is sometimes referred to as ‘circumcising of the heart’. We can’t expect to ‘take away’ something like ; grief , anger, hate, hurt, drugs, arrogance or any issues of sensitivity unless we can offer some remedy to replace what is being taken away with something else.., something ‘good’.
Whenever we take something away a void is created and needs to be filled with goodness.
According to Jewish Wisdom, there are many fine points to know before correcting someone. If done incorrectly, we can cause a person a great amount of pain.
There are a significant and alarming number of people today with various types of Mental , Emotional , Anxiety Disorder (which triggers a myriad of issues) or other disorders in various stages of function or dysfunction such as ; OCD, bi polar disorder, depression, PTSD, addictions, ADD/ADHD etc . They may go unnoticed because they are tolerated, seemingly managing well, not managing well or un-diagnosed.
Many people may be unaware that these issues fall within the spectrum of Autism. The blessing of many of these individuals is that they may posses great and unique gifts to reveal hidden sparks of Holiness.
These individual can live a well balanced healthy life and you may never know of their challenges. However they, like anyone one else are sensitive human beings that get hurt. The difference is that this group of individuals may not recover from being hurt as easily or as quickly. They may spiral into a ‘relapse’ that may cause a myriad of issues; a disconnect from a healthy reality or even death.
It is my opinion ( and other practitioners ) that the overall Mental Health statistic from CAMH that 20% of the total population in Canada, or 1 in 5 people have a mental health issues is conservative (low). The number of individuals with depression as reported by CAMH is 30% or about 1 in 3. It is my experience (as is other practitioners) that this low number may not take into consideration all types of depression such as low level depression (dysthymia-melancholy), a low level depression that people often live with sometimes their whole life and having become accustomed to never knowing a better way to live . This type of depression can be difficult to detect. There are those of the opinion that a more realistic number of individual with some forms of depression may be twice the number quoted, closer to 60% or 6 in 10. Many of this extended group of low level depression individuals may ‘fly under the radar’ ,perhaps for their whole life unless they somehow experience discomfort, or are guided to an understanding that something is not right in their lives and make change. The tragedy of this last and largest ‘marginal’ group that live with more subtle effects of dysfunction, is that they come to know life without ‘authentic’ joy as ‘normal’. This is also a group that is prone to addiction.
In the most conservative scenario, do any of us really know which person is the 20- 60% of the population that may have some degree of an issue? Perhaps given the potential consequences of causing harm, we ought to use the lowest -and- greatest common denominator when we interact with each other…. ‘Loving Kindness and Compassion’.
This is not a complete review of these topics.
Leib Getzel (Lawrence) Lax
Addictions and Counseling (Honours)